I haven't written in a while, mostly due to the fact that everytime I was motivated to write, I felt like I was in too much of a downer mood...
Sermon this morning was on Numbers, when the report comes back from the spies, and all but two of them say "the people are too strong! we want to go back to Egypt!" This is a serious lack of faith.
I can't help but wondering sometimes if my decisions to stay home and do homework rather than go out and hike up a mountain or play floor hockey represent a lack of faith that God will pull me through my school work, than a disciplined attitude towards school. Sometimes putting God first in life seems so simple, and at other times it could not be more compicated.
Anyway, I'm taking a weekend off to go on this seminar type thing. I struggled with it alot: I have not taken a weekend off since I started this program. I suppose this will be the test. Am I showing how lazy and selfish I am by going on this trip? Or am I showing my faith and devotion to my walk and others by going on it?
The trouble is, God doesn't alway tell you what you did was right, right after you do it. I will know for sure one day, but for now I can only look to the consequences for guidance. Man do I need dicernment.
Tawmis.
2 comments:
tawmis, man, I am gonna say this as simply as i can. I totally miss you dude. I spent part of today re-reading your blogs and i realized that i haven't actually said what I have been thinking on a lot of them. So, here it goes. I think that little chorus (that may be a whole song now judging from the november 18th post) that God gave you was really accurate. And in case you are struggling with pride from a compliment like that (i can totally relate by the way) the best responce that i have come across is simply, "ya thanks, praise God". IT centers the reason for your achievement but also does not undermine or reject the compliment given to you, or the complimentor.
I guess the reason i am feeling this way is that i can relate to almost every post that you have written. The last one totally makes sense too. I struggle with that stuff. Just like you once said, "God has given me time, and i have to be responsible with that time". It can be such a struggle to discern God's will. I get really...REALLY frustrated with it sometimes. Especially when i think back to times in my life when God has made that will clear, and how well I have reacted to that. I feel like shouting, "you know, this worked pretty good before! I could really do without all the fog. Just tell me what to do!"
But i think that sometimes it isn't a right choice vs. a wrong choice in the end. There is for more grey area than that. I think that there is always a best choice but not necessarily good vs. bad. In the end i thin kyou will be rewarded for trying to make the best decision you can based on what and who you know God to be. I know that this is a long comment and that there isn't really any great pieces of advice or wisdom in here, but maybe the discussion is more important in the end anyway. later
Cory
Hey Cory,
yeah, I definately look forward to hangin' out with you too man. The chorus? No its not done actually, most of my songs take a really long time to finish. I'm a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to song writing.
Anyway, just thanks for responding man, and don't short change your advice, honestly, your advice has been the most consistantly helpful that I've ever come across. I'm not sure why that is. You seem to get me pretty well.
I'm gonna write another post maybe tonight, and it will respond more to your stuff.
Tawmis.
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