I have already written a lot about men, especially single men, and what it means to be entrusted with the hearts of women around them. I have a couple of things to add.
It is easy to tell a guy to protect the women around them, and they’ll take that on, or at least they will to the best of their understanding. The problem is, when I tell a guy to protect the hearts of the girls around them, the one they have to protect the girls around them from is themselves.
That’s right. I’ll give an example.
Your friend Tanya is looking a little down at church. You ask her is everything alright. She assumes you mean it the way most people do, and says, “yes”. But you, being the caring guy you are, insist, “No really, are you alright?” She ends up spilling a story about her ex-boyfriend and how he’s into drugs, and she want to help him, etc., etc. So you sit down and listen to her, and when she opens up the conversation for a bit of help you respond with, “You know, God loves your ex more than you do, and it is probably best to just let Him handle it.”
She visible looks better, and thanks you for listening and for your advice. You go away feeling like the nice guy, the hero.
In this situation, the male feels like he has done his job, he has protected the girl, he has saved the day, that’s what God made him for, isn’t it? Not really. Inside there is evil afoot. The man is using this situation to pump up his pride, and he also opened the door for this girl to have feelings for him, even though he has no intention of persuading her or committing to her. He just wants to feel manly himself.
I’d say the biggest issue is that when most guys hear that they have to protect girls hearts, they think the enemy is out there. When the real enemy is in their own heart. Their selfishness. Their pride. Their saviour complex.
I want to see the guy who will do what’s right in regards to protecting the hearts of their female friends, even if it means all their female friends will hate them for it. That may mean, NOT siddling up when the girl is depressed. That may mean NOT flirting when the girl has put themselves in a potentially embarrassing position by flirting with you. And the end result is all female onlookers and their gossip community thinking, “What a jerk!”.
Are you willing to make that sacrifice?
"The essence of manhood is self-sacrifice"
- Matt Chandler
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